Travel Junkie

Today was awful the hometown where I raised both of my children came under attack while children and teachers should have been enjoying a Monday in happy classroom a nightmare happened. The result 3 faculty members died and 3 children died at the hands of a shooter. Never forget their names Evelyn Dieckhaus, Hallie Scruggs, William Kinney, Cynthia Peak, Katherine Koonce and Mike Hill. Please hug your children tight and please pray for Nashville and for those families who are wrapping their heads around the fact that 6 people didn’t return home today. Pray for this sweet school and their family’s. #covenant school #sadness #grief #nashville #pray #heartbroken (at Nashville, Tennessee)
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March 31 will be Treys one year anniversary in heaven. I wrote this 2 months after he passed.

Some days I see him in strangers everywhere and other days I see things that remind me of him like pelicans, seagulls and pennies. I truly believe that death just like a birth, a graduation,a marriage, or a divorce creates a timeline in a persons life. Everything before Treys sudden passing is now a memory and after his passing is not simply The After it’s a timeline filled with wish’s, if only’s and if I just had more time, if I had only know. But that’s my point we don’t get warnings of sorts, maybe if someone has a terminal illness there is that time to prepare but with Trey’s sudden passing we had no warning, he wasn’t sick, we had plans, he had plans until we didn’t, he didn’t. All gone in a minute in the middle of a Global Pandemic God called him home. So my After looks nothing like my Before. Grief changes people it creates a darkness, a sadness that if you aren’t careful will dominate your life. I miss Trey every second of every day and would give anything for one more second with him. I know he wouldn’t want my life to be filled with darkness and sadness but he would want me to live. So I try and some days I want to pull the covers up over my head and just sleep so I don’t have to face a day without him. Lately I try to at the beginning of my day talk to him and I feel his presence with me all day. I put one foot in front of the other and make it through another minute, another hour and finally another day. When I do see things that remind me of him I smile and thank God for allowing Trey to always send me reminders he is ever present. So for now my After is just that After and that After is my new life…#grief #brother #husband #uncle #son #gonetoosoon💔 #forever31
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And just like that I found myself writing Trey’s 🙏😇name on a gift tag. Will life ever feel normal I thought I was doing ok at least ok in the sense I lost my sweet boy Trey March31,2020. This is 3rd Christmas without him and I’m doing it again. Although I know in an hour or two I will hear a Christmas song he loved and my sadness will turn into a smile when I think of him. Christmas is hard for so many who are having hard times, struggling or grieving the loss of someone close to them. Be kind because you never know a persons struggle’s. Merry Christmas my sweet Trey I know Christmas with God has to be amazing. I love you forever I like you for always forever and ever my baby you will be #son #uncle #brother #husband #christmaswithoutyou #angel #grief (at Mexico , Cozumel)
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For those of you who are wondering why I’m sharing this picture of a large opening in an a abandoned building in Cozumel here’s why. My son Trey has been in heaven 903 days after gaining his Angel Wings on March 31,2020 at the young age of 33 very suddenly. I have always seen his signs from heaven, pennies, feathers, seagulls inland and other things I find. Yesterday while exploring the East side or jungle side of Cozumel we stopped at this old shell of building where a restaurant used to stand with its old and torn up view of the ocean.I wondered ever so carefully through the ruins til I saw this space. There was a cut out window to the sky or as now refer to it my glimpse into Heaven. Who would have thought that the remains of this building would make me smile. Heaven never seemed closer and I’m sure my son Trey was looking down through opening and smiling because I’m doing what did and that is travel and explore. I know I’m on the right path. #sudden #death #grief #childloss #signs #Heaven (at Cozumel East Coast)
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Two years feels like yesterday 💔This is something no parent should ever have to go through. 🖤#son #grief #loss #daddy #brother #husband #heaven #brother #friend #wanderlust (at Pine Hill Memorial Park & Mausoleum Inc)
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Not only did I need coffee this morning but I needed to give myself grace. Wednesday will be the 1 year anniversary since the sudden loss of our son Trey. I finally realized it’s ok I’m suppose to feel loss, sadness, anger, broken and questioning why, why did God call him home so soon and so unexpectedly. So for the first time since I got that call on the morning of March 31,2020 I’m giving myself grace, the grace to know it’s ok to take as long as I need to grieve Trey our son, Angela’s brother, and Alex’s husband. Everyone grieves differently and there is no time limit. When he died so did a part of my heart and that will never return. So I thank you for the continuous DM’s, calls and texts asking me how I’m doing and the prayers we feel them all. I can’t say I’m ok I will never be ok I lost my son,my child and a part of me died with him. If you see me in public I may look like I’m doing just fine but on the inside I’m far from normal my heart is broken I am empty. I get through my days because that’s what Trey would have wanted. I see him everywhere and I know he is always with me, my Angel. It’s because of that I am able to continue on but my life will never be normal I will never be the same. #grace #death #grief #son #brother #husband #thatsmile #wanderlust #forever31 #takentoosoon #sadness #broken #family
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I woke up this morning to the reality that on March 31 you will have been gone a year. A year of grief, loss, tears and change. Grief changes people from deep within their bones. Grief became a part of my reality my new life without my son. I realized I had to make a place for grief sort of like a room for it to live. I can visit that room and sit in it as much as I need too but what I won’t do is move into that room. I miss Trey every second of everyday but I know that with every fiber of my being Trey would not want me to move into that room of grief and reside. Grief doesn’t move out it stays with you forever but so do the wonderful memories that decorate that room I have created. I visit that room everyday and smile for the happiness Trey brought us on his time on earth. I sometimes pick up my phone and check my WhatsApp for a update from him and then I remember he’s not traveling the world he is traveling all through heaven. So on March 31 my sweet boy I will celebrate and cry for you. I celebrate because you gave me so much joy, laughter, tears and love along with wonderful memories. I will cry because my heart is broken and I miss you. God called you home because he had plans for you in Heaven. I love you forever, I like you for always forever and ever my baby you will be..#gonetoosoon💔 #forever31 #heaven #oneyearanniversary3/31 #mom #son #brother #loss #grief #GodsPlan (at The Bramblewood Cottage)
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Today we celebrate your first heavenly Birthday. I’m have no doubt that you started your day with your backpack ready for another adventure and took off to explore yet another part of Heaven. From the moment you were born you were an explorer. The picture I snapped of you at the beach crawling in the sand is Trey that expression of wonder what it doesn’t show is the ocean is only a crawl away but you wanted to see it up close and touch it. The picture of you with an enormous smile which was so your trademark was at taken at Big Bear in California on a MeMe and Aunt Suess’s trip. I think this is where you feel in love with the great outdoors. The other two are from your birthday 2 years ago when you called me on the 30th ( actually the 31 in Vietnam ) and told me with so much excitement it was palatable “ Mom I’m going to climb the infamous Green Ladder and be on top over looking the island of Cat Ba. What a cool 30th birthday ya think” I of course thought first of all I wish I could be there to see it as we both have that explorer gypsy spirit and 2nd as a mom I hope his tetanus shot is current. So off he went and the next day he sent the pictures as he often did on his travels. This year is a lot different I only have the pictures, the memories like a movie on a loop in my head. But I know when God called him home March 31, 2020 two months after his 31st birthday Trey is on his biggest most glorious adventure ever and one day we will be together and share our stories. Happy Heavenly Birthday my sweet Trey explore all the parts of Heaven for me on your special day…
I will leave you lovely’s with a quote I have always loved that really reminds me so much of Trey…#forever31
Trey’s fav quote..Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind. Anthony Bourdain. Happy 33rd Birthday in Heaven my sweet boy. I love you forever I like you for always Forever and Ever my baby you will be. #grief
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As I look back on 2021 it brought a year of firsts, lasts, trips✈️, family, friends and a cottage renovation.
1. We had a sprinkling of my son Trey’s ashes over my Daddy’s grave on his one year anniversary of Trey’s being called home to be with God. #2 We celebrated our Mamma’s 87 birthday. #3 The amazing trip with my besties to the beach for Nicki’s wedding. 4# The moving of my Mamma from Las Vegas to Los Angeles #5 Tacos and Margs with my daughter in Birmingham #6 Reunited with my sister and The Roosevelt’s season 7 at Shoo Shoo Baby in LA #7 Seeing a picture of my Mamma enjoying her first Christmas tree in LA #8 Dinner with my teenage grand and my daughter on the night before Christmas Eve in Nashville #9 Standing beside my new 2022 Toyota a Christmas present from my Mamma and my sister#10 Looking at The Bramblewood Cottage basking in the moonlight almost finished. What a difference a year makes. Thank you to all of you for hanging in there with me through all my good times, sad times and just plain crazy times. My wish for all of you is to have a healthy, happy and safe 2022. #memories2021 #fam #friends #grief #travel (at The Bramblewood Cottage)
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And just like that I found myself writing Trey’s 🙏😇name on a gift tag. Will life ever feel normal I thought I was doing ok at least ok I’m the sense I lost my sweet boy Trey March31,2020. This is 2nd Christmas without him and now I’m a puddle again. Although I know in an hour or do I will hear a Christmas song he lived lived and my tears will turn into a smile when I thing of him. Christmas is hard for so many who are having hard times, grieving the loss of someone close to them. Be kind because you never know a persons struggle’s. Merry Christmas my sweet Trey I know Christmas with God has to be amazing. I love you forever I like you for always forever and ever my baby you will be #son #uncle #brother #husband #christmaswithoutyou #angel #grief (at The Bramblewood Cottage)
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